When things are too much

(Photo: Unsplash/Timothy Eberly)

I woke up recently one morning to see the following post from a friend. I share it with their permission unedited.

“Last week I received a call from someone I hadn’t seen in about a year. A kind & gentle soul who said they had moved interstate & they were enjoying their new job.

He told me that he enjoyed being in Brisbane & he wanted to thank me for my kindness. He said I was always so nice to him & that I probably didn’t know but the times we saw each other, he said “I think you saved my life”.

I didn’t know what to say to that, I had no idea he felt that way or what I had even done so I thanked him for his kind words and gave an awkward chuckle!

We didn’t chat for too long and he said he would be back up this way in a couple of weeks and asked if I’d like to catch up for coffee as he’d like to discuss a few things!

I wasn’t sure what he wanted to chat about but of course, I said yes!

The next day, I received a message telling me he had taken his life!

It was a week ago and I am still trying to comprehend that message! My immediate response was that they had to be wrong because I only spoke to him last night and then everything came crashing down!

By this time, my friend called and was asking me what we spoke about it.

Thoughts flooded my head and I don’t know if I was crying, gasping for air but I was crying so hard I could barely get words out.

After an hour, I sat in silence and tried to make sense of it all.

– I’m an empath, Why didn’t I pick up on it?

– Could I have [said] something that changed the outcome?

– Now the call made sense and I SHOULD have known something was wrong but maybe when he said let’s catch up for coffee in a couple of weeks, any suspicious thoughts I may have had, were all thrown out the window.

– I wish I’d said more, I wish I’d known!

I’ve spoken to several people this week who have explained to me the reasons for his call & I have made an appointment to see a professional but my heart feels so sad for him and I am still questioning myself and playing the conversation over and over in my mind. I know I won’t get all the answers but hoping trained people in this field will help.

I am not a specialist nor do I have an understanding of how people must feel in this situation but please know there are many people you can speak to.

Maybe he had spoken to people, I don’t know his full life history that led to this point but if you do feel this way, please know the stigma HAS been removed and you can speak to people about this.

If you made it this far, I have a lot of questions, but please know that I am honestly ok.

I’ve spoken to the police hotline and had to go through the conversation.

Below is the Twitter approved page for “Find A Helpline” in your country!

It ain’t weak to speak!

If there is ANYTHING I can do for you, please let me know!”

What would you say if you saw a post like that? Statistically speaking you probably already know of someone who has ended their life. It’s even more likely you know someone who has attempted to. It’s also probable you have thought about it yourself.

The young man that inspired this article was only 28. Australian men have long been world leaders at killing themselves. During the past few years attempted and successful suicides have skyrocketed. Teenagers and younger are feeling disillusioned like never before. Conversations about struggling are not easy, but they are vital. But who do you turn to when everyone is so busy?

Where in the world you are reading this from will depend on what resources you have available to you. Here’s a link to some resources in different countries.

From my own life experience I’ve learned that the more my identity is shaped by my creator the more resilient I am with the struggles of life. It doesn’t take them away but it can help with perspective, and perspective is powerful. So much in this life can be taken away from you. Please don’t let any loss be enough to take your life. You are worth so much more.

If you have been affected by the issues raised in this article, call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline in the UK on 0800 689 5652; or 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in the US; or 13 11 14 for Lifeline Australia.

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